The following describes my town’s attempt to encourage tourism. This is in addition to our new city hall. Our mayor assured us that once the building was finished, it would make Chandler, AZ a destination spot. He attributed that largely to the new city hall gift shop. Really. That’s what he said. Sadly, he got re-elected…….
Every year, towns all across the country engage in festivals involving people or things of local interest, such as the Temecula Bluegrass Festival, the Old Town San Diego Art Festival or the Garden City, Kansas Tumbleweed Festival.
Another common cause of festivals is food(and beer). There’s the world famous (their claim) Texas Crawfish and Music festival held in “Historic Old Town Spring, Texas”. (I suspect that “historic” bit is probably due to someone finding local musically talented crustaceans and then promptly boiling them.) Norwalk Connecticut has their annual Oyster Festival while Garden City and Oxnard California and Bethel Connecticut have Strawberry Festivals.
But during March, Chandler Arizona has the Ostrich festival. The Ostrich Festival is much like any of those other festivals except, unlike art and strawberries; these things squawk, poop and attack. Also, unlike certain “Historic” Texan crawfish, ostriches have a remarkable lack of musical talent.
The festival originally occupied much of downtown Chandler, including the town rectangle (our city lacks a town square because the planners tried to think outside the box…..). But since it has grown so large they now hold it at the local Tumbleweed Park(this is Arizona, what did you expect?). The festival served as a backdrop in the 1995 Whitney Houston film, “Waiting to Exhale” and was also portrayed in a Harlequin Romance novel title, “Lover Boy.”
Chandler anxiously prepares for a weekend with familiar festival elements such as a parade, Ferris wheels, cotton candy, carney games and (yes, this is still Arizona) Mariachi bands- “On two stages! Appearing Live! Los Muchos, Muchos Mariachis!”
But the Ostrich Festival has ever so much more to offer!! There’s bungee jumping, a demolition derby (cars, not birds), and Ostrich races(birds, not cars). This year they even have celebrities! A few years ago they had the well known, ever popular, highly celebrated baboons from the movie Evan Almighty. (the baboons refused to sign autographs figuring that if they flung poo at you, that should be enough).
This year the headliners will be Three Dog Night. I remember(with effort) seeing them in concert back in their heydays. It’ll be interesting seeing them now…..as long as they don’t trip over their walkers trying to get onstage.
As exciting as the concert venue appears to be, one of the more popular events will be the ostrich race. Really.
He looks waaaay too serious……
The following is quoted from the event webpage, http://www.ostrichfestival.com/ (including typos): “The Great American Ostrich Races — When was the last time you witnessed an ostrich race? If you haven’t yet experienced it, you must make it a point to attend this hilarious and unpredictable event. At the 2014 Ostrich Festival, ostrich races will captivate audiences with their crazy riders and unexpected animal behavior.”
Unexpected animal behavior? Hilarious? Those damn things bite!
Festival goers are constantly warned about this danger by the bird handlers, especially at the ostrich ride where, like ponies, these things are saddled up for the little kiddies to ride around in a corral. Each bird manages to fit in one or two good bites a day during the festival. In an effort to help keep the birds from getting stressed, they are “changed out” every day.
………..Then suspiciously, ostrich burgers go on sale at a nearby stand.
The Desert Curmudgeon 